June 26, 2011

8dp5dt

So today I am 8dp5dt or 8 days past a 5 day transfer. Of course I have been testing at home and all have been negative to this point. My beta is tomorrow and I am about 70% sure it will be negative. I'm still holding out a little hope. My DH is at 50/50. He's so much more optimistic than I am. This has to be the most difficult thing I've gone through. The physical is nothing compared to this mental mind &(^% of waiting! I don't know why it wouldn't work. This is our first IVF cycle. We went through two failed IUIs but didn't expect them to work as I have tubal issues. Insurance mandated that we try those first though. And rather than try and pay out of pocket we did it. So, I am just having a really hard time grasping why this would be negative?! We'll see what the beta reveals tomorrow though.

I sometimes feel like motherhood is a club that I just cannot figure out how to get in to!

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